While problems are mounting up for the LHC, things are going ever so smoothly in the Theory Division. Our working conditions are constantly improving. The coffee machine that had witnessed the glorious eighties has been replaced by a new one that actually makes coffee. The common room has been renovated and equipped with blackboards, on which it is actually possible to write. The renovation works in the cafeteria are coming to an end and there is hope the queuing time will drop below 30 minutes. By the way, The New Yorker wrote recently that ...man can build a superconducting collider but not a functional cafeteria. It seems the guy was wrong. Twice ;-/
With all these improvements, productivity of CERN theorists is expected to increase in the coming months. Or decrease...the new sofas are damn comfortable :-) Time will tell.