What If, Part 1

This is the do-or-die year, so Résonaances will be dead serious. This year, no stupid jokes on April Fools' day: no Higgs in jail, no loose cables, no discovery of supersymmetry, or such. Instead, I'm starting with a new series "What If" inspired  by XKCD.  In this series I will answer questions that everyone is dying to know the answer to. The first of these questions is

If HEP bloggers were Muppets,
which Muppet would they be? 

Here is  the answer.

• Gonzo the Great: Lubos@Reference Frame (on odd-numbered days)
  The one true uncompromising artist. Not treated seriously by other Muppets, but adored by chicken.
  
• Animal: Lubos@Reference Frame (on even-numbered days)
  My favorite Muppet. Pure mayhem and destruction. Has only two modes: beat it, or eat it.
  
• Swedish Chef: Tommaso@Quantum Diaries Survivor
  The Muppet with a penchant for experiment. No one understands what he says but it's always amusing nonetheless.
  
• Kermit the Frog: Matt@Of Particular Significance
  Born Muppet leader, though not clear if he really wants the job.
  
• Miss Piggy: Sabine@Backreaction
  Not the only female Muppet, but certainly the best known. Admired for her stage talents but most of all for her punch.
  
• Rowlf: Sean@Preposterous Universe
  The real star and one-Muppet orchestra. Impressive as an artist or and as a comedian, though some complain he's gone to the dogs.
  

• Statler and Waldorf: Peter@Not Even Wrong
  Constantly heckling other Muppets from the balcony, yet every week back for more.
  
• Fozzie Bear:  Jester@Résonaances
  Failed stand-up comedian. Always stressed that he may not be funny after all.
   

If you have a match for  Bunsen, Beaker, or Dr Strangepork, let me know in the comments.

In preparation:
-If theoretical physicists were smurfs... 
-If LHC experimentalists were Game of Thrones characters...
-If particle physicists lived in Middle-earth... 
-If physicists were cast for Hobbit's dwarves... 
and more.